Naturally, I will advise him. "Naturally" because it's in my nature as old lady supermom and writer. I suppose I could say "unnaturally" as I don't know jack about NLHE, have never played in the WSOP and never will, and am not even freinds with the guy. But I've always resonated with the Grump. Especially when he writes things like: "...my friends know that I dislike talking on the phone except for short exchanges of information as necessary..."
I know, right?! I hate talking on the phone. My fave phone exchange is something like: "Hello?" "Hey, it's me. I'll be around there at 2, want to meet by the place?" "Sure." "OK, cya." "Cya" ::click::
Sometimes you just feel kinda connected, yanno? So here's a bunch of advice, I figure he has to do something between now and the ME to fill the nervous thought space, might as well read my blog. And, the great part is: I don't expect a response. I never do!
Ten Things the PokerGrump Should Do According to Lis~
1FORGET ABOUT THE MONEY - not the money at stake in the tournament, the money he gave you. Seriously, just forget it. He did this thing because he wanted to feel good, and he does and will continue to and is getting some nice buzz out of it. IF you want to do well to kind of "earn" the money, you will so screw yourself.
2 REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE - you're a poker professional. Most of the people you'll sit with at the ME are not. You beat these people all the time, every day. Some are pretty good players, some might be hidden talent great players, perhaps. But in fact, you are most likely to be playing the same game you always do with more chips in front of you.
3 STOP EATING SHIT You actually can't play 14 hours of totally focused poker on coffee and Rice Krispie treats. Or Hohos. Or Ramen. I don't know your diet, but I have read your Tweets. Take a few hours and find out about how to best keep your blood sugar level, how to keep your brain from getting sluggish. Maybe I should have said first:
4 TAKE IT SERIOUSLY Yeah, the a chance just by numbers of cashing is not great. But I know you're a better player than Steve Dannenmann was when he went so deep. So, just in case, prepare yourself mentally and physically to go the distance. You'd be surprised how much energy and stamina you can gain in a couple weeks by starting a healthier regimen. And if you are the 1st one eliminated, you'll have gotten some nice physical benefits.
5 DON'T CHANGE YOUR GAME I know Cates said he will coach you which is a great thing. He will, I hope, give you some tips on plays you don't usually see at your tables, in case you sit down with Durrr on your right. And maybe you'll get a new insight into something but.... he's not you. Get too far out of your own game and you'll lose touch with your own instincts. But...
6 DO PLUG-IN USEFUL INFO I don't know how seriously you've played MTTs. I do know that some live old school (read: non-online) players don't really get the lingo of MTT play the newer players use. Get online and make sure you are at least familiar with the ICM and what and where those inflection points are. Having info might help in some decisions, but it will also help you decipher what these other players are doing.
7 DON'T GET SPOOKED Home field is a huge advantage, and you'll be way ahead of the tourists in terms of concentration and stress level, just for that. But, it also won't be familiar. It's the ME, they are looking for human interest stories and you are going to be one. Then there's the simple increase in chip sound volume. The immense amount of human expectation and energy. You don't even like to talk on the phone. Just ride it, because in the end, it's just you and eight guys and a dealer, chips and cards and luck. Just like always.
8-10 HAVE SOME FUN GODAMMIT! (I love Bull Durham) I think most of the online players that do well in tournaments cash about 17-20% of the time. I cashed about 20% but they weren't big huge MTTs. I don't know how often live tourney pros cash, but I do know they go out short of the money a lot. Just don't worry about losing. It's not like you can play this thing 60 times and expect a return on investment or some crap. Play your game, be your own best tourist, rubberneck the stars, tweet a lot for all of us who will be following. Just don't worry about losing at all. Shove when you want to shove and don't when you don't.
Go do your thing. It's gonna be so cool!
Delighted for you,
Lis~
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